i think i am feeling unwell right now. fell asleep in the bus again until i reach the interchange and everybody alighted the bus. The bus uncle still have to call out "hello miss.." Oh man. that was embarrassing.

Today is an uneventful day for me. i feel so terrible from head to toe cos i am upset over my phy results and den my chem results which i couldn't get an A. i think i am putting so much pressure on myself when comes to study to get results that i'm satisfied with. next was the GP test which i am gonna flunk for sure. no doubt. and den following on was the Tug of war thing which make the few of us quite pissed with the house captain.

Den yesterdae the class kinda quarrelled becos of the teacher's day video and the atmosphere in the classroom was kinda tense. everybody is in a freaking foul mood yesterdae. This morning, the atmosphere in the classrm is a bit akward as well.. bud glad that everything is alright now..

*Oh man! warning! do not take photos when there are odd no. of ppl. You never noe wad will happen... especially during hungry ghost festival

A picture of 5 girls turn out with 9 ppl!! (apparently, 4 guys sneak behind us when the we are taking a pic tgt)

i have been blaming myself. for the results i have gotten. i realli wish to maintain my standard. bud how to? i could not find myself a condusive environment to study and couldn't force myself from watching tv and playing computers. I am lack of selfcontrol. too much of trust and freedom dad and mum have gaven me. They couldn't careless abt what i do or how i handle my hw. they just left me alone to decide my own future.

"No air-con too hot", "Arghhs let me finish watching TGA first", "my rm is so dirty, the tot of studying in my room makes me sick" All the bloody crap reasons i have come up with. i'm so feddup. i am going to the library to study alone though i noe it will be boring. tmr will be a day out at bugis. most prob just dinner. the rest of the time would be spent in the national library. I must do my best this time round. No more disappointment pls. the feeling of being disappointed is just undescribable.

recently, ay have been coming online to post msgs. dunno is it after the incident that she sees the need to come online more often to update fans herself or is she too free. i dun1 the 2nd 1 to happen haha. that means her role is kinda minor in tt 40 epi show. bud i was rather disappointed with her again. it seems like she have changed so much.. i dunno just the feeling and tone in which she types her msg and she speaks sounds so different from the her b4. and den the HIM mag. dunno whether i should be happy or wad. she looks nice in it bud still some prob that i dun wanna see in future like what happen to Michelle.

Seriously i realli feel like asking some celebrity how they feel. Do they actually regret their actions of joining the showbiz? Showbiz have indeed kinda changed them into a lousier person. somehow maybe its is always better that i won't see her again in real life, who noes another disappointment i will get from the meeting. Seriously the best impression is still the 1st time i ever met her. and now the only nice memories that i have is most prob the day i saw her at chinatown. So i wil not be so looking forward in seeing her in Oct. if she dun comes, so be it. let fate decide everything.

12:34 AM

i realise how dead we are. i realise how tired we are. not just on the outside. bud on the inside... i'm just too sick too tired with life having filled with exams and studies. meaningless. what's the pt when we dun like it? why must is have to be the route to our future?.. realli hope tt one day i can pick up this courage and den get out of this kind of lifestyle. too bad i just dun hab it.

i'm feddup. i'm pissed.. pissed with myself. here am i complaining how much homework i haven done due to the lack of time. In actual fact - look at my time management. TVs and TVs and Computers and computers. When have i ever put my heart into my hw, spend at least 1 hour just on studies alone (as in no multi-tasking like watching tv at the same times). I guess not even 30mins?

maybe it was this dat make me feel pissed with some of my classmates. I just find some of them irresponsible and den.. just find it hard to cooperate with them at times. though i must admit they make very good frens and friendly ppl who can joke around and make u luff still ur tummyache. bud sometimes i do think some of them are childish. aiya.. i am childish as well.

gonna flunk my SPA. flunk my Physics test since there are only 2-3 passers i heard hahah (sacarstic laugh). let me off!

Just give me a break. i am sick and tired.

11:24 PM

too busy this days that i only been able to update it once a week. last week was a darn busy week stacking with tests and hw. i think i have hardly enuff sleep and i dun seems to pay attention at times for maths lecture =X. bud lucky enuff i still understood. oh my. i am starting to hate lectures so much becos some lecturers are pissing me off. cos u see the way they teach and u dun understand. *SIGH. wad a day.

Den on wednesday it was parents meeting session. have to do some ushering cos bikila house is in charge of it. and den mum came. haha char,carol and alena all wanna see my mum cos they think my mum sounds cute 0.0. lols sometimes i find it hard to complain to my frens abt what my mum does cos they always end up saying they think my mum is funny or cute or smth. And the parents meeting think was a bit akward cos ms yen and mr choo just keep starring at us while mum is looking at my results. and Mr choo kept repeating the same thing in chi which was rather funny. Now i feel that i am starting to be able to talk to my teachers comfortably as though they are my frens. Easier way to consult them too.

And den.. mum started telling my form teachers that i am very bad tempered when i am at home and all the irrelevant stuffs like i have a cousin in the same sch and there is no pt comparing results u see.. My teachers nod their head in agreement and thot i am stressed.. den they continued, asking me to play more computers to relax (LOL). Den shortly after we left the classroom, mum picks up the phone and say "I shall call emily's mum now and ask her abt emily's results".. And i went "What the hell!" what was what she said just now? i tot she told the teachers that parents shouldn't compare results? lols. i told dad abt it and the computer thing. dad laughing awae and den he asked mum why she didn't tell the teacher i have been playing computer everyday. haha

Anywae that day was a lucky day too. Dad and mum went to the big big garbage dump to look for dad's jeans. oh my.. he nearly lost 1000++ bucks cos he kept it in the old jeans and he threw awae the jeans down the garbage bin. then they climb into the big garbage bin downstairs just to find that jeans. and they found it! Phew. its not a small sum can. and den later that night. both of them strike lottery bud just a small sum. My IC no. got the 1st prize too. bud they didn't buy =.=. Well dad. gave me 50bucks!! everybody also have it. so happy can. bud i was sleeping tt time and i think heard him asking me wan go hk not. diaos.


Recently i am quite glued to one korean series - Save the last dance for me. Ji Sung make me forget my idol for a moment. i have this tendency to go crazy over korean guys more often. hahahhh not TVBactors. and the storyline of that series was not bad. bud well i have to go on watching tt series cos it may goes yucky or draggy any time.. like full house. Oh yah.. Eugene started off okay in the series. as times goes by i realise she grown fatter!.

Budden my interest for that show died off a little le. haha after watching finish TPS. oh yea.. Finally!!. welll yu yee looks realli pretty inside. and i just realise the last show i watch is TPCOM. which was like so long ago matter. hopefully her new series will be aired soon.

4:16 PM

Feeling rather tired. Haven been blogging the last few days cos i have been very busy with school life. or either i dun have tt kind of mood to blog. Its a super tiring week for me cos i only have i guess an average of less than 5hrs sleep a day.

and i can't believe i didn't sleep except for a nap on thursday nite just to study my maths and settle Eclub stuff + Pw. Its so bloody time consuming!. especially the eclub stuff.. *Sigh. i have to complete my PW by tmr i guess. and then.. next coming up is a Mon and Tuesday(especially) Full of test. I screwed up my phy test too this week which was what the hell sadding due to my speed of doing. I'm so utterly disappointed with my performance. and den maths. my hope of getting full marks was crash with tt 2mark quest. Just couldn't figure out the formula or the term....

Disappointment one after another. Realli realli very disappointed with my results. And den on thursday i rmbed.. Mdm Goh gib us a lectured. which was like omg realli wake me up. I realli feel guilty though i did pay attention during all her lessons and just for tt particular lesson i didn't do her Revision Ex2 (too tired to).. And den she asked us to think if our commitment in other activities is realli worth the time.. i felt like answering her "Well.. its not abt whether its worth my time or not, bud its my responsibility to do so. i can't just give it up and let it off liddat u see.."

i look at myself in the mirror.. i am realli afraid tt my results will deteriorate. and den i realise that i have been pushing my hws to last min work and den tests results not hitting my aims. what is this? is this what i realli wan when i decideddd to come JJ? NO!! There is seriously things to consider abt- like my unhealthy lifestyle of watching tv and computer for hours and hours, not touching my hw.. I'm so angry with myself bud i dun seems to be able to control myself.

Ok den today, i spent 6hrs in BBSS doing some CIP work - Car washing. den at first it was boring. No car to wash and while i am washing my car, it starts to drizzle. Den shumin transfer me from the car wash grp to the Sales grp whereby u have to run here run there to the car and back. Lols. quite happy tt ppl praise me. :D bud some ppl aren't very happy with us (all the volunteers)cos we were busy talking and we wash very slow. Bud what to do? Its like we are already willing to volunteer to spend 6hrs of time (despite our busy schedules especially so many test next week) to wash the car and we still get scolded. *Sigh.

Whatever.. Bud basically, i think on tues or wad. i found some relevant news that the 3 of them have already agreed to come singapore!!. so happy and excited when i read abt it and my heart started thumping non stop. and wads more! its after PROMOS! hope i can go. miss them real much.

Ok Off to study!

10:16 PM

The world cup came and it is now gone. I have to wait any 4 years just for it. From dislike to football to liking of football. At least i watched the 1st and the last match of the game. And i supported Germany from head to tail.


Congrats to Germany! Klose, Ballack, Klinsmann, Lahm, Podolski, Schweighsteiger... I'm happy at least- Germany secured the 3rd position. Sad for portugal cos they have realli great players in there like Figo and Christiano Ronaldo. Too bad I still hate Ronaldo. The more i see him, the more he becoming my eyecandy.(as in the more u see the more handsome or cute he is) Too bad i just dun like his character.


Oh yea. I love Oliver Kahn and Ricardo. It seems like i am tending to like Goalkeepers more. Ppl like Ricardo, Kahn and Lehmann.. wahahah!

This morning i went over to watch the finals. and surprisingly there are a lot of ppl. and the crowd is so freaking hella irritating. and some acted so childishly. Budden Zizou was so damn funny and fierce at 10 mins to penalty, when he head-butted tt italian guy. Oh my that was omg..what a pity. both team have bad goalkeepers. Probably too nervous? And then..... I saw someone wearing Ballack's jersey!!! OH MY IT WAS SO DAMN NICE at the back. Oh gosh. have the urge to fork out some money to buy it. Bud i knew its just 3fenzhongridu.

Anywae other than tt. some great things brighten up my day yesterdae. haha. it seems like there is a 50% chance of dot dot dot... Oh my. when i heard it.. i wasn't to the extend of being nervous cos there is a super high possibility tt she won't be coming. Hopefully there realli is this chance. well i found someone to help me sent gib Idol a birthday card too. which is so damn gd.

9:05 PM

I thought i just blogged yesterdae or smth. and den i realise. i last blog it days ago. Have been rather bz and i have got 3-4hrs of sleep last night. dragggs.

Den few days backk.. sadness. i waited till 2am for Ger's match. lucky i didn't watch.. if not i would be terribly disappointed with it. Bud well hope Ger win Portugal (the team full of Oscars' winning actors). Wow. did u see how C.Ronaldo always dive? Go Back home and dive into ur swimming pool bahs. At the mean time, Congrats to Podolski. Heaven have eyes!!(as long as C.Ronaldo didn't get tt best young player award)

lesson till 12pm today! stayed for eclub thingy before going off with classmates to learn guitar!. Its fun!. at least i noe how to play a song "Better man" and den Guan Huai Fang Shi still not very sure. Its so hard to position my fingers and press it hard enuff since my hand is smaller compared to others.

Anyway i'm freaking disappointed though i expected it. i'm ok with the pairings. bud Linda leading over Yoyo and Idol? NO WAY. it's not that i hate her or wad. Infact i like her becos of her voice. Her song, "Swear". Bud dun u think she is rising up too fast? My idol have been in TVB for 7 years and wad she got in return is 2nd leads all the way? and now even the 3rd i suppose. many would agree with wad i say. her acting is definitely better than Linda who is just new to TVB. blaahhhs. life is just so bias and unfair. bud idol is already considered lucky ..


Well other than tt. i still love bosco and idol's pairing! omg they are tgt again! and bosco new hair was like. So styled and trendy u can say. And Idol's hair! lols its realli like someone from Egypt. Not very used. den.. i just realised from March till the end of the year (most prob oct or nov). Bosco and Idol have been filming tgt! Lol see each other see until sianx.

Just realise the fact. it seems like every since ray n tav have join TVB, almost every year they will film a show tgt. 2001/2002-> EH,GF . 2003-> TOB . 2004-2005-> YummyYummy + F2F, now 2006-> TSFW

*Anywae the pic above found from Asianfanatic.. Idol looks fat with the fake breast on her. Hope she dun put tt fake paddings on during the filming of the upcoming show too to enhance her figure (since she's a model and she dun have the height of the model)


Ending off with a clip of Bosco,Ray,Ron,Kawing singing~ Puts your hands up for world cup!

8:05 PM

going off to sleep soon. wake up early later on. tmr will be another hectic day. sch for me will only end at 6.30. and oh shugggss. there's a "jap" test later on. shall take a quick sleep now. den wake up later on to finish up my hw.

went home from sch at only 9.15 lol. pretty much crazy. stayed behind after eclub to do my hw while having a taste of the environment there. quite quiet. and we are not the only ones there of cos. The sch even provide us with tea, milo and biscuits!. that's very nice of them. Explored the new PD blk. and the toilet is auto-lighting de. bud its very eerie when u explore it at night.

And today is realli damn funny. i love JJ man. LOL i mean i think the sch is crazy. 10am den need to go sch next mon becos of world cup finals!. blahh.. no lah the teachers were afraid tt we couldn't wake up in time and become walking zombies when crossing the road and panda during lectures.

12:29 AM

Ok. i am just here to vent my anger. What the hack? I meant.. after reading that someone says Ray cfmed that it would be a Ray-Linda pairing in that new 40 epi series. i can just bang my head on the world. I am still looking for sources to ensure that this is true. bud it seems that only 1 person mentioned abt it.

I am so den pissed... den i would rather Ahyi wouldn't be in that show with Ray. judging from the cast, it would be either Ay with Bosco (again!?), Fung with Ay (Oh please!! i hope so), or Ay with Chris. argghhhs. there goes my dreams of FY FY~ How many series have they been tgt?! EH,GF,TOB,YY,F2F Total 5! How many are they paired up? TO be exact only once! that is GF- and the ending was bad enough (Ray ending up in jail). And TOB. what a freaking hell disappointment they didn't even end up tgt and KC didn't love SL anymore.

Hias. okay i am okay with her pairing up with Bosco again. bud bud.. pairing up with Chris lai is realli a nono choice. it meant that she would be underated in the series again. I hope linda won't be leading over idol, cause in terms of experience and acting, linda is far from idol (obviously).

i'm just so disappointed with TVB.

6:31 PM

Steven Gerrad is the man!! he looks so charming when he smiles. his side view especially. LOL. think i'm crazy again. Bud seeing him on the latest carlsberg adv.,(look at the video below) i realli love him. Actually Christiano Ronaldo is also a cutie. budden i dunno why i am still hating him, not becos he defeated England, bud i think he is realli a fake-ko - a great actor to be precise.


todaaayy i woke up so damn late.. den i only get to watch a epi of TPS. I so agree with idol's mum tt idol look so damn pretty inside. Yuyee! :)) bud i just can't stand seeing her liking tt Ko Sing. Omg~~ and well she have gotten a new haircut.. and it looks weird?.

Rushing my hw le la~~. must study hard le!! Gambatte Kudasai!

11:15 PM

my craze for worldcup would soon come to an end. no plan of watching semi-finals nor finals since they are showing on weekdays. moreover double disappointment. those who R expected to go into the semi-finals didn't get into. I tot i was dreaming when this morning came into the room and shout "France won.." Thiery Henry scores. Whatever the case.. i still supports ger. I dun place high hopes on them. to me.. i am okay with anyone who wins the game except Portugal.

finding new songs to listen. bud dun hab. listening to old songs~ budden sometimes it just make me rmb some memories i had.. which is like.. rather sour. i'm feeling so terrible with life. maybe i am just sick and tired of the things i am doing right now. lost my source of motivation as well.

i just hope i can dig my way through and continue doing well in my studies. probably hit my target. or find smth tt i have interest in. and den... of cos i wish i have a choice.. no studies. Bud i know it is impossible cos its hard for me to give up on my studies cos i have no confidence. I have to admit tt living in Singapore is realli a terrible thing cos of the education system here. no certificate = no future.

recently, have been rather chatty with dad. it seems like i always talk to him now. maybe it was becos for the past 1 week, almost everyday he have been picking me up from sch. and den.. alena told me abt cyril being so filial. hah.. it makes me feel rather guilty .. wonder will i regret in future. *sigh. i realli wonder.. why is it so hard to open my mouth to tell my family members, my mum, my dad, my bro dat deep in my heart i care abt them and love them.

1:13 AM

I'm just too lazy to blog. anger is just the right word to describe my feelings right now. Started off watching the match with neutral feelings. ended up being so pissed off with Portugal team especially Christiano Ronaldo whom is not cute at all, full of bad motives inside him. Bud i am so pretty much amaze by Ricardo! he's a super gd goal keeper like Lehmann..



yesterdae's Argentina vs Germany was super disappointing. I meant the team i supported. Espcially klose... i was darn pissed off for the first half on seeing him not using his best effort to get the ball. and den Germany is kinda violent. Wad a tense match. Even though i supported Germany, i still thinks.. Referee kelong!! Same case for today's match as well.. And its obvious someone did foul and yet the 1 who didn't gets the card. Bud anywae.. Klose's goals makes up everything. So far he is still the top scorer!. GOLDEN BOOTS


And idol!. i have this sudden feeling of missing her. i haven seen her for along time. and heard that Casino show is gonna be finished filming in 5 days time? great! in additional Fungyi would be in a 40 epi show tgt!. WOOOO and idol would be cutting her hair for ... Me!! (dream on..) It's just for the new show.

Veron and yenyee are going hk` to attend kawing's bdae party. hias so fortunate. i can't even go to hk. let alone a bdae party. bud well she is helping me to pass kawing a letter personally! :DD thanx ehhhs.

2:52 AM