Going to sleep soon. didn't achieve much since i was forced to go to chinatown on sat when i am studying half way. went there just to buy mooncake. its been like months since i last went there actually. ever since the market there kinda undergo renovation, dad didn't bring me there anymore.

sometimes i realli dislike going to chinatown. even stepping into a shopping mall can make me feel sour, which is a realli very terrible feeling. don't realli like going to places that are old and rundown or smth. reminds me very much abt stuffs.. not exactly unhappy memories.

Oh yea and Happy Belated Birthday to Lihui haha. bought her a dog dog after sch on thurs with huisi. cute cute ehs. muahahahaha.. wonder did lihui hear the dog laughter every night?.. Cos i am tickling the dog's leg :P.


just now grandma called. feel rather uneasy after the conversation.. wanted to thank her for the angbao bud i don't know how to say it in teow chew(okay too much of cantonese influence already).. wanted to tell her to take care, bud also dunno how to say. She called me just to tell me to keep my angbao properly cos there's 100bucks inside. she gave me for lucky purpose since i am going to china in a few months time. Bud dunno why i just feel terrible cos i dun seems to able to repay her. all my stupid empty promises.

Don't be too nice to me please. i feel so uneasy that everybody(my family) is being nice to me recently. I think this comment is crazy but i think i dun deserve such nice treatment.

recently was as usual surfing for news of ahyi. came across patricia liu's blog talking abt ahyi. they are realli good buddies. in fact i think ahyi have been good buddies with almost everybody in the entertainment. bud the thing abt her with mich is still in my mind. wonder wad realli happened. And also, i realise that my star-gazing mates are slowly losing interest in tvb as well as ahyi, ahfung.. somehow i have that feeling that i no longer have someone to share happy news of ahyi with..


some pics taken in class. haha took pictures of kristian's sketch book. someday during a maths tutorial he asked me wad kind of animal i wanna be. So i told him, i like rabbits. and he draw me as a rabbit on the 1st pic. haha. the other 3 are basically (i think)char, lihui and carol. I like the lion in the 2nd pic. it looks kinda cute hahah.

12:35 AM

random blogging. feel frustrated becos i have been bloodly slacking like nobody's business. so damn stressed up cos i have not finish my homework. tons of them. arghhhs.Sometimes i think JCs are rather inconsiderate to students, they wan students to do well in their studies and yet they giv us so much work to do. den most of the time we are already so tired with our freaking hell life and where can we find so much time to revise first den finish all of them up. Making us do without revising is realli waste of time. okay wadever the case. i am going to die after promos cos i have to complete all the undone homeworks.


wahhaha was watching land of wealth. bud basically i am just scanning through for steven and ahyi's scene. actually i find their pairing realli cute LOL. and when they smile at each other, reallli damn sweet. bud their relationship is developing too quickly. anywae this whole show what i realli like best is when i see ahyi smile, she looks realli pretty inside(i use to dislike her costume and hair inside). oh yah lai lok yi's voice sounds irritaitng. and another thing. Their dialouge are damn chim can... all is 5 words , 4 words that kind 1. still got poem. den is like realli dun understand at times what they are talking haha. bud can learn alot of new terms?

And den it also makes me feel quite amaze by tvb again. they can actually come out with diff kinds of topic for a series. As in the case of l.o.w, its the history of a bank or smth tt exist in the past. and u see better halves - abt match makers. So it also meant that the scriptwriters have put in a lot of efforts to research on history and stuffs. This doesn't happen in Singapore. all they have is family series and series again. Boring. wonder what they are trying to promote.


Look at this clip. Kawaaii bosco and ahyi! realli find them funny together. they realli look so cute together. ok, my fav couple for now, follow by steven and ahyi. :D hope to see their series soon.

12:33 AM

wah almost late today. woke up at 6.45, got a shock of my life can seeing the sky so bright. den i was like "Hias.. sure late 1 lah.." so i do everything quite slowly lor.. Hahah den chose to take 157 and saw Char. lols. den i kinda lac a bit. In the end still nearly late sia. we pia like mad, chiong like mad, realli chiong until i no more strength le lor. Stupid PW fault lah.

today must study hard hard le. now PW cleared. so promos is coming up soon. think studying chi and eng only. not so free. better concentrate on this 2.

anywae promos coming up implies another thing. oct is coming and i realli wonder if they are coming. think kevin most prob not coming le. den not to say ahyi and ahfung. i think right at the start their possibility already quite low le.

Anywae dun care le lah.. i feel like sleeping again. bud just now got super bad nightmare. i wan watch l.o.w.. steven and ahyi so sweet!

10:13 PM

last friday when i am abt to get off from "work" haha at Affinity. someone, a teacher bought 13 tubs of ice-cream from us and treated the whole school to ice-cream. omg was so damn excited and the queues were like so long. realli appreciated the help of those who are not from e club and yet they came and help. and den plusplus the auntie was realli nice to save some ice-cream for us.

dunno wassup with me recently, feel realli pissed with myself after some wrong doings i had done. i dunno why in sch i can tolerate ppl whom i disapproves some of their actions. But when my mum did just something small, i just erupted liddat. recently i have been yelling at her (super mei da mei xiao) when she nagged at me to burn this and that and when i told her Cannot burn means cannot burn. And i let her know my pw to my user account and she told my bro abt it. I was like so damn angry. wad for i put pw in the first place if i dun1 bro to anyhow go in. now he tell him everything.. ZZ.. ok now i feel so sorry for yelling at her in the first place.

its like everytime i tell myself that its wrong to yell at her and yet i continue to do so.. of cos i do feel guilty after that, bud i dun say sorry. find it hard to do so.

haha suhua's birthday surprise was ruin by xt and sh's bro. Diaoooss. so funny lah that stupid hon refuse to tell us and make us feel so frustrated cos we took like more than 30mins to make her say out the names of the ppl. bud well, find it weird to eat birthday cake in the morning. slept at 3am and i woke up at 7plus just for Hon! hahaha.. den i ate breakfast lunch at her house. the other few was even worse - they have dinner there too. and for every meal, its like so filling lah. eat until damn fat hahaha.. anywae slaack there and feel so tired cos i slept so little.

anywae going off after i finish my pw. arghhs frustrations.

1:42 AM

What thing in life u can't avoid ar? Death? Yea.. Economist say we cannot avoid paying tax!. Haha guess wad stupid subject am i reading up? Erhemm. todays econs tutorial the only rare few that i did not attempt to take 30 winks u see.. quite funny.

due to my sickness and terrible block nose. i have been sleeping too much for days. Lost freaking interest in jap which i ponned this week. feel rather sorry cos i am like wasting my edusave fund. and ms myuki is realli a nice person. Hias. now doing hw =.=. forced to. so sad.



the theme video is nice. the song has been going thru my mind for the past few days. the making of make that show looks interesting. and there are plenty of positive comments. shall watch when its out at rental. now no $$. still stuck at epi 12 of ftf

2:20 AM

sometimes when u are tired of school life.. u longed to fall sick so u can rest well at home instead of going school. however, when u realli does so.. u will regret ur thinkings cos getting sick especially when u have gotten a fever is realli worse off than going to school.

finally feel better. woke up and i tot i urinated on my bed. In fact i actually sweated so much that my bed is so damn wet. tot my fever went off this morning and i would actually feel better. after visiting the clinic and ate my medicine. i feel asleep again and i woke up feel so damn worse becos my neck and my back are aching like crazy. i wanted to sleep bud couldn't cos its hurting me so much. frustrations. I'm going back to sch tmr.

Spend much of the time sleeping and resting. Watch a little of F2F ending. couldn't resist the temptation. the ending was ok not so bad. hahahah Bud the making of L.O.W was like omg. Great. i'm so looking forward to it coming out in rentals now. Wasn't realli attracted to it when its filming. bud after watching the making of + the themesong was realli good. Bud everything seems sad in that show. arghhs wad worse is idol is dying in that show hahahahah.

oh yea i am attached to mediacorp during the period of Promos, helping the news reporting team. zzz sianx a little boring. infact realli realli boring. we will be split into pairs and den attach to diff news grp. and if i'm suay enuff i would get the one that i must reach at 5am in the morning or the other one that i have to work till so late in the nite. arghhs frustration

4:51 PM

the chinese story(maybe fanfic) below is nice. change ur Encoding to unicode to read. bud i think my blog aren't suited to post chinese wordss. maybe u can just copy and paste in words to read it.

suddenly tot of smth that happened a few days back. den i realise.. maybe not den i realise, Its i have already realise the fact. sometimes i wonder.. what is in the minds of the people in my own class. sometimes i just couldn't understand them, bud i noe i dun have the right to scold them or anything cos wat they chooses to do is their own business. moreover i am not realli a gd person as well. haha. they make gd frens, they make gd play mates. bud when comes to study and stuff, some of them dun place piriority on it.

When we confront u, u just gib us attitudes. i'm pissed. u are the one at fault and yet u showed attitude. pushing all ur responsibility to others. u guys complained that u guys are busy, bud have u ever tot of others as well? Ask u guys organise stuff, u guys keep postponing and dragging them. Fine. we plan. after we plan and organise stuff to bond our friendship, you complain what we are doing are boring and dun suit u.

Emailed xiaogu. got scolded by her becos of the short forms and i slang i used in my email. LOL. and she say she took a long time to understand wad i am saying. (That's a.. little exaggerating?) Bud anywae, i am excited abt the programmes after Alvls and the China Xi An trip which is like SIAO. long way to go. Bud Xiaogu is inviting me n Emily over to Chicago!!. me and emily have somehow decided tt we should stay for around a month or so. since there were so many free time after Alvls. and den i hoped dad kept his promise - fly me to hk.

3:07 AM

亚亚(杨怡饰)
释(吴卓羲饰)

雨,不停的下着,我在咖啡屋中等着释的到来.
已经超过约定的时间一个小时了,该死的释还没出现,真是的,每一次都是这样.
哦,对了,忘了介绍,释是我的同学兼BF.他仗着我和他从小青梅竹马一起长大自称是我的BF.不过我也默认了.因为他是校草,是品学谦优的学生会会长,也是体育部部长,他对每个女声都又不可抗拒的魅力.他自称是我的BF已经有8年了.[从国小5年级开始,一直到高三,也就是现在.
当我起身要走时,他出现了,他的出现引起了在座女声的轰动,是的,他是受欢迎的.
他拉着我坐了下来,我刚要开口,要大骂特骂他一顿时,他开口说话了:
"我迟到了,对不起.现在我还有事,今晚8点你在永宁路286路公交车站等我."
他没等我说一句话,走掉了.

晚上8点,他准时出现在那里,我挺高兴的,因为那么久以来,他能准时到还是破天荒头一回,我跑过去:
"今晚我们去哪玩啊?"]<
"我们分手吧!"释平静的说.
"为什么?"我几乎是喊破了嗓子,可过往的车辆已掩盖了我的声音,我好想哭,可欲哭无泪.
"对不起,我想我只能说这3个字了."他还是很平静的说.
我没有说话,我拼命的摇了摇头,说:
"请你告诉我为什么,好吗?"
"因为崔颖(叶璇饰)……"他似乎还想说什么,但是没有说出来.我点了点头,在眼泪要落下来的那一刹那转过了身,当我背对着释的时候早已泪流满面,我跑掉了,没有再理会他.

回到家,我趴在床上,回想起以前和释的点点滴滴,是那么的甜蜜,可是现在已经灰飞烟灭了.不再出现了.我爬起来,想:既然与他分手了,那他这几年来送我的一切我还需要留着吗?我留着还有什么意思,它们不过会增添我的烦恼而已,我收拾好了一切,足足有一大箱子……

第二天一大早我搬了箱子出门了,出门前妈妈还问道:
"你不等阿释了吗?今天怎么这么早?"
"哦~~今天我要做值日~~"说完匆匆溜出了家门.

到了教室,教师里来了不少的同学,我走到释的座位,把箱子放在他的桌子上.当我回到自己的位置时,我发现自己的桌子上也是一个箱子,打开一看,全都是我送释的东西,想看但看了又心酸了起来,眼泪又在眼眶里打转.@
一个早上的课我没有听进一点,我时不时眼睛会偷偷的往释那边看.

一连几天,我都是这个样子.放学和上学路上没有人陪我还真的不习惯,很难受.有几次我很想去找释,可我不敢,没有勇气.

有一天上课,同桌小燕问我:
"亚亚你和欧阳释怎么了?你知道吗?你不和他在一起的时候,他和崔颖可好着呢!"
我听着小燕的话,开始留意着释和崔颖.崔颖就坐在释的后边.而且崔颖是班花,她和我一样也是学生会干部.唯一不同的是,她能歌善舞,追她的人有很多.
上课时,他们俩偷偷的交头接耳,互传纸条,下课时他们又一起打闹.崔颖她在上体育课时为释买水下雨时释为她撑伞,他们是在恋爱吗?有一次我竟然看见释拉着她的手在我面前走过,有说有笑的.

可是释他还是会帮着我.我的钢笔掉时,他会微笑着捡起来看着我面无表情的对着他说谢谢;下雨时他也会在我的抽屉里放着一把伞,只是不会再为我撑着;他知道我的英语不好他也会将一本英语辅导书让妈妈转交给我,只是不会再陪我挑灯夜读;他也会在我回家晚时在我的书包里放点钱让我搭公车回家,只是不会再用他的自行车载着我回家并送我上楼了.
就因为这些,让我毫无理由去恨他.
有一天我终于鼓起勇气去问释,为什么?他说,颖颖比你温柔,比你董事.她不会为了约会迟到和他生气,也不会我不载着她回家和他埋怨.更不会在他心烦意乱的时候去打扰他,而是帮他解决困惑.亚亚,颖颖比你好一千倍一万倍,你忘了我吧.
当释走开时,我哭了出来,大声叫道:
"你明明知道你越这样我越忘不了你,为什么还要这样??为什么??"释停了下来,但他没有回头,他还是走了.

学生会的工作越来越忙了,我也收拾起了自己的野心,安安分分的做好自己的工作,我想帮释做好工作,可似乎不行,因为我风风火火的作风已经习惯了.
只是释出席学生会的次数越来越少了,他连早上一贯的晨跑也取消了,学校的体育比赛没有了他的身影,那些不知情的花痴们也因为不能看帅哥而感到惋惜,说到不知情,其实我也不知情.释在课堂上晕倒的次数越来越多,脸色也越来越苍白……

我问同学他怎么了,他们不说;我问妈妈他怎么了.她也不说;我问欧阳伯母他怎么了,她只是一个劲儿载摇头,结果眼泪流了好多好多……学校,家里.好久没有见到他的身影了.

两个星期后的一天,妈妈和欧阳伯母红着眼眶对我说:
"亚亚你快去医院看看阿释吧!他快不行了!"我当事惊讶得说不出话,一直随着她们到了医院,我感觉很恐怖.

果然,一推开门,就是爸爸和欧阳伯父,还有躺在病床上的释,他的脸色好苍白,像张纸似的,他瘦了好多,好多好多.
"爸,伯父,你们出去一下,好吗?我想单独和亚亚说说话."释有气无力的说道."
他招招手,意示我过去,我什么话也没说就跑了过去,扑在他的怀里,开始大哭了起了,他也不说话,他紧紧的抱着我的,用他的下巴顶着我的头,似乎会抓不住似的,他轻轻的说:
"亚亚,我好像就这样抱着你一辈子,我好爱你."
"嗯嗯嗯."我用力点点头,"我也好爱你,你就这样抱着我一辈子吧!"我哭得更厉害了,泪水完全湿透了他的衣服,他拼命的紧紧的抱着我的,可是他的手明显的松掉了,他不放弃,就这样抱着……
他的手渐渐送了,松了,最后他就倒了下去,我的泪像断了线的珠子,飞洒出来,我叫着他:
"阿释……"结果我眼前一黑,什么也不知道了……

又过了一个星期,崔颖她交给我一封信,我知道是释的,就拆来看:

亚亚:
当你看到这封信时,也许我已经在另一个世界了.
你知道吗?当我知道自己身患了白血病并且是晚期时,
我什么都放弃了,唯独你是,让我爱了8年的女孩,我唯
一放不下的就是你.我不想让你因为我的病而彻底崩
溃,你懂吗?一直到我患病,我就知道自己走到尽头了,
而你的路还很长,你还可以去想像你的美好的未来,而
我不能了,我要走了,我生存的时间里,我能碰到你这么
一个让我感到幸福快乐的女孩,我已经满足了,我知足了,
上苍给我的已经足够了,临死前我的愿望就是想抱着你,
紧紧的抱着你,让我再好好感受你的气息.

亚亚我爱你,一直到永远……

永远爱你的人:释

当我看完这封信时,再次泪流满面,崔颖说道:
"亚亚,释他其实一直都是爱着你的,只是他不想让你伤心,他才……
"我知道,我都知道."我打断她.

……一年后,我来到释的墓碑前,望着天空,希望再能看到释那张帅气的脸.
释,何时才会见到你呢?

12:29 AM

hahahahh. i have joined slackers club. busy lazing around at home which was rather bad. shall start studying after blogging. need to finish up lots of hw in time. vectors sux terribly especially when u have so many formula to memorise.
was passing by the rental shop when i saw ms sheh's new show poster - up long ago though. Took a closer look, saw this particular pic of her wearing the ancient type of wedding dress tgt with sammul. wahh.. i was like omg.. it reminds me abt one of the Uweekly mag published this year whereby there is a real picture taken around 100 years ago or so.. whereby a guy marrying a women who is dead. Instead of the normal ways of getting married with a chicken or the ash, the guy just get married with a dead body. and the face is so damn eerie. *yucks

watch kang xi lai le! and yesterdae one was abt those ghostly events. omg damn nice can. Bud very eerie. haha beginning to like XiaoS. find her funny.

land of we alth coming out le. wakakaka. officially broke. i am still watching for casin o crisis.

12:14 AM

life just sux. hah.
finally gotten by dream handphone. bud.. there is realli no sign of happiness. yes a bit cos i finally gotten a coloured phone. Instead, i actually feel guilty for a moment after seeing the bill. $980.80 for 3 handphones. den i tots went thru my mind. No more laptops no more luxuries for the time being. and i better get a gd pay job next time round for obvious reasons. actions speak louder than words.

went to pizzahut to eat our supper becos of lame reasons. Dad said that there are 19.20 left over after spending 1000 bucks so we should use tt money to eat pizaa.

and stop giving me such answers when i say i wanted to study and do my hw. its getting rather irritating when everybody starts telling me that.

4:56 AM

yay! w810i by the end of the weeeek. want the white one bud it cost 100 bucks more than the black one with the same function. unlimited version = what the crap? its either idiot get the white or i get it. dun wanna get the completely the same hp with him again(can't help it. we both came from the same family. therefore we both have the same gd taste =X)

can't get my eyes off the bdae pics. f2f is getting nicer especially watching with ppl who can appreciate it hahaha that is idiot. it's just so boring to watch alone. and tob is repeating on ch55, yay SLKC~ my dear favs

12:41 AM

Life seems a bit tiring and a bit boring even though its holidays. I'm not going to go out anymore unless its neccessary cos going out is making me even more tired than usual. i just slept my way thru and studied half of my notes on thermal phy in the library. woke up at 8 just to go for tt stupid chem olympiad training. Okay. i seriously catch no balls during the lecture and first time in my life the drowsiness in me is so bad tt i realli nearly feel asleep. And worse of all i got selected for the next round of olympiad tt means my attendance is compulsory. i'm not so free man.

bbq and airported on friday and thurs surprised bobo with a cake at night~. and It was on friday den i realise there is this arrival hall at T2 (downstairs). Seriously i forgotten abt it. and den i suddenly rmbed the fact tt i was there 3 years back waiting for Ron to come. Yes .. its ron. for now i think i still like him a little. anywae Happy Birthday Ron!

my life seems to have gotten a little more interesting compared to be in Sec Sch. i realise i have been more exposed to stuffs dat i have nv experienced b4. bud of cos it have made my life even more tiring. On thurs, we went back to BBSS. we only went to see ms punitha and of cos mrs lim. love teasing punitha hahahaa.. and mrs lim was great.

Video Time!!!


Like idol's dressing at the birthday party!

off i go. i;m crazy over the pic of me with gigi taken at mandarin hotel itself. her smile is just so nice and sweet. genuine too. first time i think the pic is so damn nicely taken. wanted to put as Msn Dp. bud i scare ppl tot i change idol lOL. think i sot le. ok wadever.. off to watch full house.

12:01 AM